how to nicely tell your annoying family members to stop welcoming themselves over?

secret~stranger asked:

so its been 2 weeks since i got home from the hospital after giving birth–and it seems that people invite themselves over (mostly my annoying family members)
i haven’t had ONE DAY to myself since i got home, and its become really annoying.

i NEVER had told my parents that they could stay over–but they pretty much MOVED themselves into my house. (for the last two weeks)..they said they are trying to “help me out”..but what they are really doing..is making it harder on me!! all they do is lecture me about how to raise my own kid..and this and that…i moved OUT of THEIR house for a reason. so that i can be left ALONE–and now they followed me to my house!! (yes..i admit..they are a bit dysfunctional)
it made me realize that they are probably the reason why alot of young moms give their kid up for adoption- because their parents annoy them to much. the are probably also the reason why i even got pregnant!! b/c they stress me out to much-so i would turn to sex as a stress reliever
…on top of that, not only are they staying over my place.
my DAD uses my TOOTHBRUSH for his dentures!! *yuck*! and my mom would leave her wet laundry dripping in the bathroom floor…
they would even leave their empty used dishes laying around..and move in unwanted furniture that they found along the road somewhere.

i had a “talk” with them..and they got offended! what am i going to do?? they are SOO ANNOYING and they grose me out.

my fridge is a mess with half eaten food!!!

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Written by Admin on May 26th, 2007 with 4 comments.
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Get your own gravatar by visiting gravatar.com P. W
#1. May 29th, 2007, at 9:16 AM.

Play anything by Dido. That should do the trick.

Get your own gravatar by visiting gravatar.com James Watkin
#2. May 30th, 2007, at 9:34 AM.

You say ‘ I appreciate all the help you have given me but now it is time for you to go home so I can enjoy some private bonding with my child’. ‘ And please call before you come back over because I may be too busy for company and it will save you a trip for nothing and with gas being so expensive you have to watch your money.’

And when someone knocks on the door without calling first you say’ I appreciate you stopping by but I am too busy for company’. ‘ I will give you a ring when I am free.’ Then you say goodbye and close the door.

You have every right to privacy and alone time. And you have to make yourself clear. Some people think they are helping and have no clue it is time to go. If you don’t they will ‘help’ you to the nut house.

Get your own gravatar by visiting gravatar.com Star kiss
#3. May 31st, 2007, at 4:12 PM.

tell them you love there caring and all but you need sometime alone to bond with your new baby and new family. And parents always say” I’m not going to be around in the future so you need to learn to do it yourself” But they love you that’s why they are being crazy,… Just tell them nicely that you are feeling better and need some space to yourself and your home back. Just tell them you want to walk around naked
ha ha ha,,,, that just might work…

Get your own gravatar by visiting gravatar.com katie2008
#4. June 3rd, 2007, at 1:28 PM.

Congratulations on your new baby!!!

It is nice for others to want to visit you and the baby, and for your parents to what to help. . . but I completely agree with you that enough is enough!

It is your home, your new life, your baby. . . and YOU set the rules and boundaries! If others don’t like it - tough!

Now, about how to tell them. If you don’t want company when they knock on your door, don’t answer the door. If you don’t want to talk to someone on the phone, don’t answer the phone.

Now, if you do answer the door and want them to hit the road, just tell him that you want to visit with them very much, but that this is not a good time and that you will call them to invite them over when you know you’ll have time to visit. . . and when the baby is awake, or whatever (you make up the words to suit yourself).

Same with the phone, if you answer it and don’t want to carry on a long conversation….say basically the same thing as you would at the front door: that you want to talk but that this is not a good time because of ______ (whatever).

Remember, it is your home!!! YOU make the rules. And you can make those rules by being assertive and yet keeping your tone of voice calm, pleasant and firm.

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